Today Jokes

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

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GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

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BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

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BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

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SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

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WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of
the mouth.

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Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

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Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

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Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David : "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

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Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

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Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"

Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".